path: root/cards.yaml

generic:
  enabled: false
  black:
    - _ and _. A match made in heaven.
    - _ is just a special case of _.
    - "_: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for _!"
    - I can't believe I got away with _.
    - I can't concentrate without _.
    - I drink to forget _.
    - I get by with a little help from _.
    - I got 99 problems but _ ain't one.
    - I hope no one finds out about _.
    - I woke up drenched in sweat from a nightmare about _.
    - I woke up filled with shame about _.
    - Remembering _, then immediately vomiting.
    - When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _.
    - _ kept me up all night.
    - _ is a path to many abilities many consider... unnatural
    - _ + _ = _
    - "Step 1: _.  Step 2: _.  Step 3: Profit."
    - _ is a slippery slope that leads to _.
    - "_ & _: The Musical."
    - Without _ we wouldn't have _.
    - Listen, if you want to get involved with _, just stay clear of _.
    - Did you hear that _ is the new hot topic?
  white:
    - a career-limiting card game
    - day drinking
    - sending an email at 11pm so people think I work hard
    - someone less senior than me signing off with "Thanks in advance"

covid19:
  enabled: false
  black:
    - Due to the Covid crisis, I have rekindled my enthusiasm for _.
    - My favourite thing about online conferences is _.
    - When all this is over, I'm not looking forward to _.
  white:
    - not having to wear pants
    - the sound of 50 people on a Zoom call all trying to speak at once
    - '"working" remotely'
    - remembering when "working from home" meant a day off
    - Zoom dropping out every 10 to 15 seconds

popl2021:
  default: true
  include:
    - generic
    - covid19
    - icfp2020

  black:
    - 'My award-winning POPL paper: F-ing _'
    - 'The critical feature that LaTeX is missing is _'
    - 'The next version of Excel must include _ as a killer-feature.'
    - 'In C++ you can compute _ at compile time.'
    - '_ is the only thing that can prevent software crisis.'
    - 'I like my _ gradually-typed.'
    - 'Relying on _ is against the spirit of functional programming.'
    - '_ is a dish best served cold.'
    - 'I am sure one can find _ somewhere in the Clowdr code.'
    - 'One should definitely become an expert in _ before starting a PhD in PL.'
    - 'How can you call yourself a "PL researcher" without any experience with _?'
    - 'It is 2021 and I still have to explain _ to people around me.'
    - '_ is the most under-appreciated feature of _.'
    - 'I do not always use _, but when I do, I prefer it with _.'
    - '_ is the opium of the people.'
    - 'There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and _.'
    - "If you're not suffering, you're doing your _ wrong!"
    - 'Using _ was the biggest disappointment since the last Game of Thrones season.'
    - 'At POPL, no one will judge you for your attraction to _.'
    - 'I will call my PhD thesis "Fifty Shades of _".'
    - "'Harry Potter and _' is the best fan fiction I've ever read!"
    - 'A Logic for _'

  white:
    - yet another type of equality
    - THE BLIND SPOT 
    - UIP
    - type theory
    - classical logic 
    - the law of excluded middle
    - double negation
    - Haskell Is Not Not ML
    - Kripke semantics
    - covfefe
    - natural deduction
    - logical relations
    - Z3
    - probabilistic programming
    - Scott domains
    - Program Synthesis
    - antitonic functions
    - zonotopes
    - Higher-Order Concurrent Separation Logic
    - verified machine learning
    - yet another Haskell extension
    - Do Be Do Be Do
    - purely functional smart contracts
    - provably correct blockchain protocols
    - proofs of False in Coq
    - the Science of Deep Specification
    - Hasochism

icfp2020:
  include:
    - generic
    - covid19

  black:
    # ICFP2020 Cards
    - _ is just _ in the Category of _.
    - My next paper title? The next 700 _.
    - Procrastinating on my paper by working on _.
    - Reviewer 2 found my paper guilty of _.
    - _ would be woefully incomplete without _.

    # Some cards taken from:
    # https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt
    # Slightly modified to take out most sexist / racist / ... stuff and comply
    # with the uplcg format.  Added more _s to a few because we can.
    - A PL conference is never complete without _.
    - Both Microsoft and Apple have concerns with _.
    - I always include _ in my reviewer feedback.
    - I can't believe my grant application for _ was denied!
    - I find that _ relieves pre-submission stress.
    - I just got out of an incomprehensible talk on _ and _.
    - I just hope the reviewers don't notice _.
    - I only got through my PhD because of a long-winded explanation of _.
    - I think I will skip the session on _ this year.
    - I was surprised to get no questions about _ the end of my presentation on _.
    - I'm hoping to avoid 2/3 of the program committee, because my paper is on _.
    - I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.
    - My academic CV says I'm an expert on _.
    - My career started with _.
    - One regret I have from my PhD is _.
    - Putting _ in my application helped me immensely.
    - Self-isolation is fantastic for _.
    - The next big thing will almost certainly be _.
    - The talk that had the most influence on my personal life was _.
    - What's a programmer's best friend? _
    - What's my secret power? _
    - _ for free!
    - _ considered harmful.
    - A monadic approach to _.

  white:
    - adding inconsistent axioms to Agda (again)
    - an angry type theorist
    - non-SIGPLAN conferences
    - full abstraction
    - installing Agda for its input mode
    - presheaves
    - a definitional interpreter in Common Lisp
    - a self-promotional comment phrased as a question
    - just a corollary of the fundamental theorem
    - Agda's failure in unifying the terms
    - theorems for free
    - using the acmart class
    - the later modality
    - writing code with paper and pencil
    - progress and preservation
    - going to the bathroom for the second time in 5 minutes to avoid an awkward conversation
    # ICFP2020 Cards
    - a Monad
    - a Monoid
    - Endofunctors
    - JavaScript
    - Haskell
    - Scheme
    - Racket
    - C
    - C++
    - abstract nonsense
    - mutability
    - type theory
    - pointers
    - a proof left as an exercise to the reader
    - the independence of dependent types
    - 100 pages of proof appendix
    - the Vim vs Emacs dilemma
    - the fear of side effects
    - error reporting
    - readable type errors
    # - Haskell wins at ICFP programming contest
    # - C++ wins at ICFP programming contest
    - a cryptocurrency developed using Coq
    - monads are like burritos
    - the egg of Coq
    - the real origin of the Coq name
    - HoTT getting cold
    - the lambdaman
    - a presentation without a joke
    - a french paper not formalized in Coq
    - a non-poultry themed Coq library
    - ICFP
    - POPL
    - PLDI
    - OOPSLA
    - cabal hell
    - Category Theory
    - executing Agda code
    - a job talk starting with Heartbleed
    - a type system that prevents planes from crashing
    - pLdI iS bEtTeR tHaN iCfP
    - a time when ML did not mean machine learning

    # SML and formal semantics
    - that CSmith found 0* bugs in CompCert
    - well-typed programs don't go wrong
    - a complete type system
    - division by zero
    - a Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages
    # - no class, no state
    # - soundy
    - an abstract domain for neural networks
    - a PhD office with windows
    - a profile picture from 20 years ago
    - an academic website powered by Hakyll
    - continuations
    - liberally adding axioms
    - unironically using Windows
    - my parents asking when I’ll get a real job
    - PL memes
    - not really caring about OOP
    - endless discussions about syntax

    # paper titles
    - do be do be do
    - the marriage of effects and monads
    - Coq Coq Correct!
    - theorems for free!
    - gradual typing is dead

    # Cards including comminity people's names that we should ask for permission
    - Conor's high tech presentation
    - an ICFP with 0 SPJ accepted papers
    - Ranjit's Lambda Style
    # - Frank Pfenning's proof theory
    # - Asking Annabelle
    # - HIcks
    # - a climate change talk by Benjamin Pierce
    # - Stephanie
    # - Adam
    # - Phil Wadler
    # - Ron + Tander

    # Cards taken from
    # https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt
    # Filtered down to remove some sexism / racism / ... and irrelevant cards.
    - 100% talks, 0% human interaction
    - Thinking I'm so clever for using pictures of Alice (Cooper) and Bob (Marley)
    - a hand wavy argument
    - a proof that appears in the "full version"
    - a violent and bloody PhD defence
    - academic integrity
    - actually being "sorry for the late reply"
    - an "anonymous" reviewer insisting I cite 6 papers by the same author
    - an overfull hbox
    - arriving 13 minutes late to a 15 minute talk and having the gall to ask a question
    - being the only smartly dressed person in the room
    - best rejected paper award
    - checking my Google Scholar profile daily
    - citing personal communication
    - conferences with 5 submissions at 11:59pm
    - crippling student debt
    - deadline day flatulence
    - deliberately hiding inefficiencies inside the big O
    - deliberately not referencing a superior paper
    - doing Facebook maths puzzles to show I am better than those idiot 97%
    - explaining what my job is at a family reunion
    - falling asleep in a 5-person meeting
    - feeling flattered because a conference spam email addressed me as Professor
    - fighting over LaTeX syntax
    - forgetting my VGA adapter
    - frantically taking notes during every talk
    - getting a fourth cookie during a coffee break because I have no one to talk to
    - getting stuck at the French-speaking banquet table
    - getting tenure, then chilling out
    - having time to catch up on my reading, then not doing it
    - having to write a polite rebuttal to the reviewer who clearly didn't read past page 2
    - hiding my conflict of interest
    - ignoring reviewer comments and resubmitting immediately
    - ignoring the session chair flashing 5 minutes left because I've got 23 slides to go
    - including an XKCD comic in my slides because I'm so original
    - making claims in the submission that you hope you can achieve before the rebuttal
    - my dear friend the Program Chair overruling 3 borderline rejects on my paper
    - my successful career at a patent troll company
    - my supervisor's morning breath
    - not feeling guilty about falling asleep during the keynote
    - not needing to pretend to listen to the other speakers in my session
    - overselling it hard in the introduction
    - politely starting an answer with "That's a good question...", when the question is actually idiotic
    - preparing for two weeks to give a 15-minute presentation to a room of 7 people all on their laptops
    - pretending to understand
    - publishing anyway
    - putting an outdoors-y photo on my academic webpage to look well-rounded
    - quickly trying to peek at someone's badge as I shake their hand, but it's flipped backwards
    - relatives who ask me to help them install their printer on Windows
    - social sciences
    - starting a conversation with "When did you fly in?", because I have nothing interesting to say
    - telling anyone who'll listen quite how busy I am
    - thanking the anonymous reviewers for their "useful" comments
    - the awkward question the chair asks when nobody understood the talk
    - the awkward silence of 8 people standing in a circle during the afternoon coffee break
    - the great paywall of IEEE
    - the intoxicating aroma of 12 PhD students in one office
    - the one suit I own for meetings with industry
    - the person in the front row taking photos of every slide
    - the student body
    - throwing a party for my next citation milestone
    - turning up to one meeting and claiming co-authorship
    - tweeting about my paper acceptance
    - undergrads
    - using Beamer because it's social suicide to use PowerPoint
    - using "it clearly follows" when the implied following is anything but clear
    - using "we should talk about this offline" because the question exposes holes in my paper
    - using indecipherable, non-standard notation to hide a dodgy proof
    - wearing a T-shirt with a Linux joke
    - wearing a conference t-shirt... in public
    - wistfully looking out of the window of my overly-cramped PhD office
    - writing a reference for someone I can't remember meeting
    - Ctrl+F'ing to see how many times I'm cited and finding "0 results"
    - a slide deck entirely in Comic Sans
    - a shepherd that won't budge

munihac2020:
  include:
    - generic
    - covid19

  black:
    - A Haskell Hackathon conference is never complete without _.
    - _ is just _ in the Category of _.
    - My Hackathon project will be _.
    - This Hackathon I will work on integrating _ and _.
    - Hackathons are great because you can openly talk about _.
    - I hate to go back to _ after a Hackathon.
    - My project was sponsored by _ and _.
    - 'GHC proposal 2354: _.'
    - '{-# LANGUAGE _ #-}'
    - Both Microsoft and Apple have concerns with _.
    - I just got out of an incomprehensible talk on _ and _.
    - My career started with _.
    - I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.
    - What's a programmer's best friend? _
    - What's my secret power? _
    - _ for free!
    - _ considered harmful.
    - A monadic approach to _.

  white:
    - Edward Kmett's hallway track
    - Spending the first two days trying to get the project to build
    - 1253 dependencies
    - a 9 year old GHC ticket
    - Darcs
    - a hangover
    - 'GHC: out of memory'
    - complaining about compile times
    - unsafePerformIO
    - unsafeInterleaveIO
    - a monad tutorial
    - sneakily writing JavaScript
    - broken builds
    - weird behaviour on Mac OS X
    - lens
    - not writing any documentation
    - lazy IO
    - pretending to understand what a Monad is
    - Haskell2030
    - a Template Haskell splice that steals firefox cookies at compile time
    - using Hugs in production in 2020
    - attending MuniHac mostly for the beer
    - actually finishing a Hackathon project
    - the 8th coffee of the day
    - zygohistomorphic prepromorphisms
    - the Haskell subreddit
    - extremely lame Category Theory puns
    - bashing other languages on Twitter
    - using nix because that's what the cool kids are doing

    # Adaptions from icfp2020
    - adding inconsistent axioms to Agda (again)
    - an angry type theorist
    - writing code with paper and pencil
    - a Monad
    - a Monoid
    - Endofunctors
    - JavaScript
    - Haskell
    - Scheme
    - Racket
    - C
    - C++
    - abstract nonsense
    - mutability
    - type theory
    - pointers
    - a proof left as an exercise to the reader
    - going to the bathroom for the second time in 5 minutes to avoid an awkward conversation
    - a self-promotional comment phrased as a question
    - the Vim vs Emacs dilemma
    - the fear of side effects
    - error reporting
    - readable type errors
    - monads are like burritos
    - the lambdaman
    - a presentation without a joke
    - Category Theory
    - a type system that prevents planes from crashing
    - a time when ML did not mean machine learning
    - well-typed programs don't go wrong
    - a complete type system
    - division by zero
    - a profile picture from 20 years ago
    - an academic website powered by Hakyll
    - continuations
    - liberally adding axioms
    - unironically using Windows
    - PL memes
    - not really caring about OOP
    - endless discussions about syntax
    - 100% talks, 0% human interaction
    - actually being "sorry for the late reply"
    - an overfull hbox
    - deliberately hiding inefficiencies inside the big O
    - doing Facebook maths puzzles to show I am better than those idiot 97%
    - explaining what my job is at a family reunion
    - falling asleep in a 5-person meeting
    - frantically taking notes during every talk
    - getting a fourth cookie during a coffee break because I have no one to talk to
    - getting stuck in the French-speaking group
    - having time to catch up on my reading, then not doing it
    - hiding my conflict of interest
    - including an XKCD comic in my slides because I'm so original
    - my successful career at a patent troll company
    - not feeling guilty about falling asleep during the keynote
    - not needing to pretend to listen to the other speakers in my session
    - overselling it hard on twitter
    - politely starting an answer with "That's a good question...", when the question is actually idiotic
    - putting an outdoors-y photo on my nerdy webpage to look well-rounded
    - quickly trying to peek at someone's badge as I shake their hand, but it's flipped backwards
    - relatives who ask me to help them install their printer on Windows
    - starting a conversation with "When did you fly in?", because I have nothing interesting to say
    - telling anyone who'll listen quite how busy I am
    - the awkward question the organizer asks when nobody understood the talk
    - the awkward silence of 8 people standing in a circle during the afternoon coffee break
    - the great paywall of IEEE
    - using indecipherable, non-standard notation to hide a dodgy proof
    - wearing a T-shirt with a Linux joke
    - a slide deck entirely in Comic Sans

cspapers:
  black:
    - 'CS paper: _ is morally correct'
    - 'CS paper: _ a la carte'
    - 'CS paper: A quick look at _'
    - 'CS paper: Compiling without _'
    - 'CS paper: Scrap your _  A practical approach to _'
    - 'CS paper: The history of _: being lazy with _'
    - 'CS paper: Faster laziness using _'
    - 'CS paper: Towards _ for Haskell'
    - 'CS paper: Asynchronous _ in Haskell'
    - 'CS paper: Sound and Decidable Type Inference for _'
    - 'CS paper: A monadic framework for _'
    - 'CS paper: Associated types for _'
    - 'CS paper: _ for arbitrary-rank types'
    - 'CS paper: practical type inference for _'
    - 'CS paper: _: a fast evaluation strategy for _'
    - 'CS paper: _: a retrospective on Haskell'
    - 'CS paper: Lexically scoped _'
    - 'CS paper: _ for Haskell'
    - 'CS paper: Tackling the awkward squad: _ in Haskell'
    - 'CS paper: Composing contracts: an adventure in _'
    - 'CS paper: A Semantics for _'
    - 'CS paper: Algorithm + Strategy = _'
    - 'CS paper: Generational garbage collection for _'
    - 'CS paper: A static semantics for _'
    - 'CS paper: _ as first class citizens'
    - 'CS paper: Arbitrary precision arithmetic using _'
    - 'CS paper: _ using continued fractions'
    - 'CS paper: An investigation of the relative efficiencies of _ and _'
    - 'CS paper: Kind inference for _'
    - 'CS paper: A role for dependent types in _'
    - 'CS paper: Type variables in _'
    - 'CS paper: Safe, zero-cost coercions for _'
    - 'CS paper: A reflection on _'

  white:
    - fast and loose reasoning
    - build systems
    - a Hoare triple
    - GOTO
    - impredicativity
    - boilerplate
    - generic programming with Haskell
    - practical type inference
    - arbitrary-rank types
    - delimited continuations
    - functional dependencies
    - optimistic evaluation
    - non-strict programs
    - wearing the hair shirt
    - template meta-programming
    - type variables
    - first class modules
    - object-oriented style overloading
    - monadic input/output
    - concurrency
    - exceptions
    - foreign-language calls
    - financial engineering
    - imprecise exceptions
    - parallelism
    - unboxed values
    - continued fractions
    - arbitrary precision arithmetic
    - combinators
    - lambda expressions
    - datatypes