Multiple card sets

10 files changed, 292 insertions, 269 deletions

diff --git a/Makefile b/Makefile
index 840f46c..2036434 100644
--- a/Makefile
+++ b/Makefile
@@ -8,8 +8,7 @@ STACK_BIN=$(shell cd server && stack path --local-install-root)/bin
 .PHONY: build
 build: server/assets/client.js \
 	server/assets/style.css \
-	server/assets/black.txt \
-	server/assets/white.txt
+	server/assets/cards.yaml
 
 .PHONY: docker
 docker:
@@ -37,8 +36,5 @@ server/assets/client.js: $(ELM_MESSAGES_SOURCE) $(ELM_SOURCES)
 server/assets/style.css: client/style.css
 	cp $< $@
 
-server/assets/black.txt: black.txt
-	cp $< $@
-
-server/assets/white.txt: white.txt
+server/assets/cards.yaml: cards.yaml
 	cp $< $@
diff --git a/black.txt b/black.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index ed7232a..0000000
--- a/black.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,60 +0,0 @@
-# ICFP2020 Cards
-\BLANK is just \BLANK in the Category of \BLANK.
-My next paper title? The next 700 \BLANK.
-Procrastinating on my paper by working on \BLANK.
-\BLANK and \BLANK. A match made in heaven.
-Without \BLANK we wouldn't have \BLANK.
-Reviewer 2 found my paper guilty of \BLANK.
-\BLANK is just a special case of \BLANK.
-Listen, if you want to get involved with \BLANK, just stay clear of \BLANK.
-\BLANK would be woefully incomplete without \BLANK.
-\BLANK: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for \BLANK!
-
-# Some cards taken from:
-# https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt
-# Slightly modified to take out most sexist / racist / ... stuff and comply
-# with the uplcg format.  Added more \BLANKs to a few because we can.
-A PL conference is never complete without \BLANK.
-Both Microsoft and Apple have concerns with \BLANK.
-Did you hear that \BLANK is the new hot topic?
-Due to the Covid crisis, I have rekindled my enthusiasm for \BLANK.
-I always include \BLANK in my reviewer feedback.
-I can't believe I got away with \BLANK.
-I can't believe my grant application for \BLANK was denied!
-I can't concentrate without \BLANK.
-I drink to forget \BLANK.
-I find that \BLANK relieves pre-submission stress.
-I get by with a little help from \BLANK.
-I got 99 problems but \BLANK ain't one.
-I hope no one finds out about \BLANK.
-I just got out of an incomprehensible talk on \BLANK and \BLANK.
-I just hope the reviewers don't notice \BLANK.
-I only got through my PhD because of a long-winded explanation of \BLANK.
-I think I will skip the session on \BLANK this year.
-I was surprised to get no questions about \BLANK the end of my presentation on \BLANK.
-I woke up drenched in sweat from a nightmare about \BLANK.
-I woke up filled with shame about \BLANK.
-I'm hoping to avoid 2/3 of the program committee, because my paper is on \BLANK.
-I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of \BLANK.
-My academic CV says I'm an expert on \BLANK.
-My career started with \BLANK.
-My favourite thing about online conferences is \BLANK.
-One regret I have from my PhD is \BLANK.
-Putting \BLANK in my application helped me immensely.
-Remembering \BLANK, then immediately vomiting.
-Self-isolation is fantastic for \BLANK.
-The next big thing will almost certainly be \BLANK.
-The talk that had the most influence on my personal life was \BLANK.
-When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of \BLANK.
-Why can't I sleep at night? \BLANK
-\BLANK kept me up all night.
-When all this is over, I'm not looking forward to \BLANK.
-What's a programmer's best friend? \BLANK
-What's my secret power? \BLANK
-
-# CaH with minor edits
-\BLANK + \BLANK = \BLANK
-Step 1: \BLANK.  Step 2: \BLANK.  Step 3: Profit.
-\BLANK is a slippery slope that leads to \BLANK.
-\BLANK & \BLANK: The Musical.
-I got 99 problems but \BLANK ain’t one.
diff --git a/cards.yaml b/cards.yaml
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4b3d5cb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/cards.yaml
@@ -0,0 +1,234 @@
+icfp2020:
+  black:
+    # ICFP2020 Cards
+    - _ is just _ in the Category of _.
+    - My next paper title? The next 700 _.
+    - Procrastinating on my paper by working on _.
+    - _ and _. A match made in heaven.
+    - Without _ we wouldn't have _.
+    - Reviewer 2 found my paper guilty of _.
+    - _ is just a special case of _.
+    - Listen, if you want to get involved with _, just stay clear of _.
+    - _ would be woefully incomplete without _.
+    - "_: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for _!"
+
+    # Some cards taken from:
+    # https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt
+    # Slightly modified to take out most sexist / racist / ... stuff and comply
+    # with the uplcg format.  Added more _s to a few because we can.
+    - A PL conference is never complete without _.
+    - Both Microsoft and Apple have concerns with _.
+    - Did you hear that _ is the new hot topic?
+    - Due to the Covid crisis, I have rekindled my enthusiasm for _.
+    - I always include _ in my reviewer feedback.
+    - I can't believe I got away with _.
+    - I can't believe my grant application for _ was denied!
+    - I can't concentrate without _.
+    - I drink to forget _.
+    - I find that _ relieves pre-submission stress.
+    - I get by with a little help from _.
+    - I got 99 problems but _ ain't one.
+    - I hope no one finds out about _.
+    - I just got out of an incomprehensible talk on _ and _.
+    - I just hope the reviewers don't notice _.
+    - I only got through my PhD because of a long-winded explanation of _.
+    - I think I will skip the session on _ this year.
+    - I was surprised to get no questions about _ the end of my presentation on _.
+    - I woke up drenched in sweat from a nightmare about _.
+    - I woke up filled with shame about _.
+    - I'm hoping to avoid 2/3 of the program committee, because my paper is on _.
+    - I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.
+    - My academic CV says I'm an expert on _.
+    - My career started with _.
+    - My favourite thing about online conferences is _.
+    - One regret I have from my PhD is _.
+    - Putting _ in my application helped me immensely.
+    - Remembering _, then immediately vomiting.
+    - Self-isolation is fantastic for _.
+    - The next big thing will almost certainly be _.
+    - The talk that had the most influence on my personal life was _.
+    - When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _.
+    - Why can't I sleep at night? _
+    - _ kept me up all night.
+    - When all this is over, I'm not looking forward to _.
+    - What's a programmer's best friend? _
+    - What's my secret power? _
+
+    # CaH with minor edits
+    - _ + _ = _
+    - "Step 1: _.  Step 2: _.  Step 3: Profit."
+    - _ is a slippery slope that leads to _.
+    - "_ & _: The Musical."
+    - I got 99 problems but _ ain’t one.
+
+  white:
+    # ICFP2020 Cards
+    - a Monad
+    - a Monoid
+    - Endofunctors
+    - JavaScript
+    - Haskell
+    - Scheme
+    - Racket
+    - C
+    - C++
+    - abstract nonsense
+    - mutability
+    - type theory
+    - pointers
+    - a proof left as an exercise to the reader
+    - the independence of dependent types
+    - 100 pages of proof appendix
+    - the Vim vs Emacs dilemma
+    - the fear of side effects
+    - error reporting
+    - readable type errors
+    - Haskell wins at ICFP programming contest
+    - C++ wins at ICFP programming contest
+    - a cryptocurrency developed using Coq
+    - monads are like burritos
+    - the egg of Coq
+    - the real origin of the Coq name
+    - HoTT getting cold
+    - the lambdaman
+    - a presentation without a joke
+    - a french paper not formalized in Coq
+    - a non-poultry themed Coq library
+    - ICFP
+    - POPL
+    - PLDI
+    - OOPSLA
+    - cabal hell
+    - Category Theory
+    - executing Agda code
+    - a job talk starting with Heartbleed
+    - a type system that prevents planes from crashing
+    - pLdI iS bEtTeR tHaN iCfP
+    - a time when ML did not mean machine learning
+
+    # SML and formal semantics
+    - that CSmith found 0* bugs in CompCert
+    - well-typed programs don't go wrong
+    - a complete type system
+    - division by zero
+    - a Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages
+    # - no class, no state
+    # - soundy
+    - an abstract domain for neural networks
+    - a PhD office with windows
+    - a profile picture from 20 years ago
+    - an academic website powered by Hakyll
+    - continuations
+    - liberally adding axioms
+    - unironically using Windows
+    - my parents asking when I’ll get a real job
+    - PL memes
+    - not really caring about OOP
+    - endless discussions about syntax
+
+    # paper titles
+    - do be do be do
+    - the marriage of effects and monads
+    - Coq Coq Correct!
+    # - gradual typing is dead
+
+    # Cards including comminity people's names that we should ask for permission
+    - Conor's high tech presentation
+    - an ICFP with 0 SPJ accepted papers
+    - Ranjit's Lambda Style
+    # - Asking Annabelle
+    # - HIcks
+    # - a climate change talk by Benjamin Pierce
+    # - Stephanie
+    # - Adam
+    # - Phil Wadler
+    # - Ron + Tander
+
+    # Cards taken from
+    # https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt
+    # Filtered down to remove some sexism / racism / ... and irrelevant cards.
+    - 100% talks, 0% human interaction
+    - Thinking I'm so clever for using pictures of Alice (Cooper) and Bob (Marley)
+    - a career-limiting card game
+    - a hand wavy argument
+    - a proof that appears in the "full version"
+    - a violent and bloody PhD defence
+    - academic integrity
+    - actually being "sorry for the late reply"
+    - an "anonymous" reviewer insisting I cite 6 papers by the same author
+    - an overfull hbox
+    - arriving 13 minutes late to a 15 minute talk and having the gall to ask a question
+    - being the only smartly dressed person in the room
+    - best rejected paper award
+    - checking my Google Scholar profile daily
+    - citing personal communication.
+    - conferences with 5 submissions at 11:59pm
+    - crippling student debt
+    - day drinking
+    - deadline day flatulence
+    - deliberately hiding inefficiencies inside the big O
+    - deliberately not referencing a superior paper
+    - doing Facebook maths puzzles to show I am better than those idiot 97%.
+    - drinking alone
+    - explaining what my job is at a family reunion
+    - falling asleep in a 5-person meeting
+    - feeling flattered because a conference spam email addressed me as Professor
+    - fighting over LaTeX syntax
+    - forgetting my VGA adapter
+    - frantically taking notes during every talk
+    - getting a fourth cookie during a coffee break because I have no one to talk to
+    - getting stuck at the French-speaking banquet table
+    - getting tenure, then chilling out
+    - having time to catch up on my reading, then not doing it
+    - having to write a polite rebuttal to the reviewer who clearly didn't read past page 2
+    - hiding my conflict of interest
+    - ignoring reviewer comments and resubmitting immediately
+    - ignoring the session chair flashing 5 minutes left because I've got 23 slides to go
+    - including an XKCD comic in my slides because I'm so original
+    - making claims in the submission that you hope you can achieve before the rebuttal
+    - my dear friend the Program Chair overruling 3 borderline rejects on my paper
+    - my successful career at a patent troll company
+    - my supervisor's morning breath
+    - not feeling guilty about falling asleep during the keynote
+    - not having to wear pants
+    - not needing to pretend to listen to the other speakers in my session
+    - overselling it hard in the introduction
+    - politely starting an answer with "That's a good question...", when the question is actually idiotic
+    - preparing for two weeks to give a 15-minute presentation to a room of 7 people all on their laptops
+    - pretending to understand
+    - publishing anyway
+    - putting an outdoors-y photo on my academic webpage to look well-rounded
+    - quickly trying to peek at someone's badge as I shake their hand, but it's flipped backwards
+    - relatives who ask me to help them install their printer on Windows
+    - remembering when "working from home" meant a day off
+    - sending an email at 11pm so people think I work hard
+    - Zoom dropping out every 10 to 15 seconds
+    - social sciences
+    - someone less senior than me signing off with "Thanks in advance"
+    - starting a conversation with "When did you fly in?", because I have nothing interesting to say
+    - telling anyone who'll listen quite how busy I am
+    - thanking the anonymous reviewers for their "useful" comments
+    - the awkward question the chair asks when nobody understood the talk
+    - the awkward silence of 8 people standing in a circle during the afternoon coffee break
+    - the great paywall of IEEE
+    - the intoxicating aroma of 12 PhD students in one office
+    - the one suit I own for meetings with industry
+    - the person in the front row taking photos of every slide
+    - the sound of 50 people on a Zoom call all trying to speak at once
+    - the student body
+    - throwing a party for my next citation milestone
+    - turning up to one meeting and claiming co-authorship
+    - tweeting about my paper acceptance
+    - undergrads
+    - using Beamer because it's social suicide to use PowerPoint
+    - using "it clearly follows" when the implied following is anything but clear
+    - using "we should talk about this offline" because the question exposes holes in my paper
+    - using indecipherable, non-standard notation to hide a dodgy proof
+    - wearing a T-shirt with a Linux joke
+    - wearing a conference t-shirt... in public
+    - wistfully looking out of the window of my overly-cramped PhD office
+    - writing a reference for someone I can't remember meeting
+    - Ctrl+F'ing to see how many times I'm cited and finding "0 results"
+    - '"Working" remotely'
+    - a slide deck entirely in Comic Sans
+    - a shepherd that won't budge
diff --git a/client/src/Client.elm b/client/src/Client.elm
index 439acea..137ebbe 100644
--- a/client/src/Client.elm
+++ b/client/src/Client.elm
@@ -238,7 +238,7 @@ intersperseWith values def list = case list of
 
 blackCardContent : Cards -> BlackCard -> List String
 blackCardContent cards (Messages.BlackCard idx) =
-    String.split "\\BLANK" <| Maybe.withDefault "" <| Array.get idx cards.black
+    String.split "_" <| Maybe.withDefault "" <| Array.get idx cards.black
 
 blackCardBlanks : Cards -> BlackCard -> Int
 blackCardBlanks cards c = List.length (blackCardContent cards c) - 1
diff --git a/server/lib/Uplcg/Cards.hs b/server/lib/Uplcg/Cards.hs
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..27d5240
--- /dev/null
+++ b/server/lib/Uplcg/Cards.hs
@@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
+module Uplcg.Cards
+    ( Deck
+    , CardSets
+    , loadCardSets
+    ) where
+
+import qualified Data.HashMap.Strict as HMS
+import qualified Data.Text           as T
+import qualified Data.Yaml           as Yaml
+import           Uplcg.Messages
+
+type Deck = T.Text
+
+type CardSets = HMS.HashMap Deck Cards
+
+loadCardSets :: FilePath -> IO CardSets
+loadCardSets path = Yaml.decodeFileThrow path
diff --git a/server/lib/Uplcg/Game.hs b/server/lib/Uplcg/Game.hs
index 02e40cb..140f2b6 100644
--- a/server/lib/Uplcg/Game.hs
+++ b/server/lib/Uplcg/Game.hs
@@ -157,7 +157,7 @@ leaveGame pid game = case game ^? gamePlayers . ix pid of
 
 blackCardBlanks :: Cards -> BlackCard -> Int
 blackCardBlanks cards (BlackCard c) =
-    maybe 0 (length . T.breakOnAll "\\BLANK") $ cardsBlack cards V.!? c
+    maybe 0 (length . T.breakOnAll "_") $ cardsBlack cards V.!? c
 
 maximaOn :: Ord o => (a -> o) -> [a] -> [a]
 maximaOn f = \case [] -> []; x : xs -> go [x] (f x) xs
diff --git a/server/lib/Uplcg/Main/Server.hs b/server/lib/Uplcg/Main/Server.hs
index 295b736..4a3829b 100644
--- a/server/lib/Uplcg/Main/Server.hs
+++ b/server/lib/Uplcg/Main/Server.hs
@@ -25,10 +25,8 @@ import           Data.Maybe                      (isNothing)
 import           Data.String                     (fromString)
 import qualified Data.Text                       as T
 import qualified Data.Text.Encoding              as T
-import qualified Data.Text.IO                    as T
 import qualified Data.Text.Lazy                  as TL
 import           Data.Traversable                (for)
-import qualified Data.Vector                     as V
 import qualified Network.HTTP.Types.Status       as HttpStatus
 import qualified Network.HTTP.Types.URI          as HttpUri
 import qualified Network.Wai                     as Wai
@@ -40,6 +38,7 @@ import           System.Environment              (getEnv)
 import qualified System.Log.FastLogger           as FL
 import           System.Random                   (StdGen, newStdGen)
 import           Text.Blaze.Html.Renderer.Text   (renderHtml)
+import           Uplcg.Cards
 import qualified Uplcg.CookieSocket              as CookieSocket
 import           Uplcg.Game
 import           Uplcg.Messages
@@ -63,21 +62,15 @@ data Room = Room
 data Server = Server
     { serverLogger       :: FL.FastLogger
     , serverCookieSocket :: CookieSocket.Handle Player
-    , serverCards        :: Cards
+    , serverCards        :: CardSets
     , serverRooms        :: MVar (HMS.HashMap RoomId Room)
     }
 
-readCards :: IO Cards
-readCards = Cards
-    <$> fmap parseCards (T.readFile "assets/black.txt")
-    <*> fmap parseCards (T.readFile "assets/white.txt")
-  where
-    parseCards  = V.fromList . filter (not . T.null) . map dropComment . T.lines
-    dropComment = T.strip . fst . T.break (== '#')
-
 withServer :: FL.FastLogger -> (Server -> IO a) -> IO a
-withServer fl f = CookieSocket.withHandle 5 $ \cs -> do
-    f =<< Server fl cs <$> readCards <*> MVar.newMVar HMS.empty
+withServer fl f = CookieSocket.withHandle 5 $ \cs ->
+    f =<< Server fl cs
+        <$> loadCardSets "assets/cards.yaml"
+        <*> MVar.newMVar HMS.empty
 
 newRoom :: RoomId -> RoomPassword -> Cards -> StdGen -> STM Room
 newRoom rid rpw cards gen = Room rid rpw
@@ -148,12 +141,14 @@ scottyApp server = Scotty.scottyApp $ do
 
     Scotty.get "/rooms" $ do
         views <- liftIO $ roomViews server
-        Scotty.html . renderHtml $ Views.rooms views
+        let decks = HMS.keys $ serverCards server
+        Scotty.html . renderHtml $ Views.rooms views decks
 
     Scotty.post "/rooms" $ do
-        rid <- getParam "id"
-        rpw <- getParam "password"
-        _   <- liftIO $ createRoom server rid rpw
+        rid   <- getParam "id"
+        rpw   <- getParam "password"
+        cards <- getParam "deck"
+        _     <- liftIO $ createRoom server rid rpw cards
         Scotty.redirect $ TL.fromStrict $
             "/rooms/" <> unRoomId rid <>
             case rpw of
@@ -195,17 +190,21 @@ parsePendingConnection pending =
             Just (r, maybe NoRoomPassword RoomPassword pwd)
         _ -> Nothing
 
-createRoom :: Server -> RoomId -> RoomPassword -> IO Room
-createRoom server rid rpw = MVar.modifyMVar (serverRooms server) $ \rooms ->
-    case HMS.lookup rid rooms of
-        Just _ -> fail "Room already exists"
-        Nothing -> do
-            gen <- newStdGen
-            serverLogger server $ "[" <> FL.toLogStr rid <> "] Created " <>
-                (if rpw == NoRoomPassword then "" else "password-protected ") <>
-                "room"
-            room <- atomically $ newRoom rid rpw (serverCards server) gen
-            pure (HMS.insert rid room rooms, room)
+createRoom :: Server -> RoomId -> RoomPassword -> Deck -> IO Room
+createRoom server rid rpw deck = do
+    cards <- maybe (fail "Deck not found") pure $
+        HMS.lookup deck (serverCards server)
+    MVar.modifyMVar (serverRooms server) $ \rooms -> do
+        case HMS.lookup rid rooms of
+            Just _ -> fail "Room already exists"
+            Nothing -> pure ()
+
+        gen <- newStdGen
+        serverLogger server $ "[" <> FL.toLogStr rid <> "] Created " <>
+            (if rpw == NoRoomPassword then "" else "password-protected ") <>
+            "room"
+        room <- atomically $ newRoom rid rpw cards gen
+        pure (HMS.insert rid room rooms, room)
 
 getRoom :: Server -> RoomId -> IO Room
 getRoom server rid = do
diff --git a/server/lib/Uplcg/Views.hs b/server/lib/Uplcg/Views.hs
index d25a9ce..9e453e8 100644
--- a/server/lib/Uplcg/Views.hs
+++ b/server/lib/Uplcg/Views.hs
@@ -13,6 +13,7 @@ import qualified Data.Text.Encoding           as T
 import qualified Network.HTTP.Types.URI       as HttpUri
 import qualified Text.Blaze.Html5             as H
 import qualified Text.Blaze.Html5.Attributes  as A
+import           Uplcg.Cards
 import           Uplcg.Version                (version)
 
 data RoomView = RoomView Text Bool Int
@@ -29,8 +30,8 @@ template title body = H.docTypeHtml $ do
         body
         H.footer $ "Untitled PL Card Game version " <> H.toHtml version
 
-rooms :: [RoomView] -> H.Html
-rooms rids = template "Untitled PL Card Game" $
+rooms :: [RoomView] -> [Deck] -> H.Html
+rooms rids decks = template "Untitled PL Card Game" $
     H.div H.! A.class_ "rooms" $ do
         H.h1 "Rooms"
         if null rids
@@ -52,6 +53,10 @@ rooms rids = template "Untitled PL Card Game" $
             H.label H.! A.for "name" $ "Password (optional): "
             H.input H.! A.type_ "text" H.! A.name "password"
             H.br
+            H.label H.! A.for "deck" $ "Cards: "
+            H.select H.! A.name "deck" $ for_ decks $ \deck ->
+                H.option H.! A.value (H.toValue deck) $ H.toHtml deck
+            H.br
             H.input H.! A.type_ "submit" H.! A.value "Create room"
 
 client :: Text -> Maybe Text -> H.Html
diff --git a/server/uplcg.cabal b/server/uplcg.cabal
index 5ed6d2f..2c8db7d 100644
--- a/server/uplcg.cabal
+++ b/server/uplcg.cabal
@@ -17,6 +17,7 @@ Library
   Other-modules:    Paths_uplcg
 
   Exposed-modules:
+    Uplcg.Cards
     Uplcg.CookieSocket
     Uplcg.Game
     Uplcg.Main.GenerateElmTypes
@@ -54,7 +55,8 @@ Library
     wai-extra            >= 3.0  && < 3.1,
     wai-websockets       >= 3.0  && < 3.1,
     warp                 >= 3.3  && < 3.4,
-    websockets           >= 0.12 && < 0.13
+    websockets           >= 0.12 && < 0.13,
+    yaml                 >= 0.11 && < 0.12
 
 Executable uplcg-generate-elm-types
   Hs-source-dirs:   src
diff --git a/white.txt b/white.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index 902fec5..0000000
--- a/white.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,170 +0,0 @@
-# ICFP2020 Cards
-a Monad  # Inline comment
-a Monoid
-Endofunctors
-JavaScript
-Haskell
-Scheme
-Racket
-C
-C++
-abstract nonsense
-mutability
-type theory
-pointers
-a proof left as an exercise to the reader
-the independence of dependent types 
-100 pages of proof appendix 
-the Vim vs Emacs dilemma
-the fear of side effects 
-error reporting 
-readable type errors 
-Haskell wins at ICFP programming contest
-C++ wins at ICFP programming contest
-a cryptocurrency developed using Coq 
-monads are like burritos 
-the egg of Coq 
-the real origin of the Coq name 
-HoTT getting cold
-the lambdaman  
-a presentation without a joke 
-a french paper not formalized in Coq 
-a non-poultry themed Coq library
-ICFP
-POPL
-PLDI
-OOPSLA
-cabal hell
-Category Theory
-executing Agda code
-a job talk starting with Heartbleed
-a type system that prevents planes from crashing
-pLdI iS bEtTeR tHaN iCfP
-a time when ML did not mean machine learning
-# SML and formal semantics
-that CSmith found 0* bugs in CompCert
-well-typed programs don't go wrong
-a complete type system
-division by zero
-a Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages
-# no class, no state
-# soundy
-an abstract domain for neural networks
-a PhD office with windows
-a profile picture from 20 years ago
-an academic website powered by Hakyll
-continuations
-liberally adding axioms
-unironically using Windows
-my parents asking when I’ll get a real job
-PL memes
-not really caring about OOP
-endless discussions about syntax
-
-# paper titles 
-do be do be do
-the marriage of effects and monads 
-Coq Coq Correct!
-# gradual typing is dead
-
-# Cards including comminity people's names that we should ask for permission 
-Conor's high tech presentation
-an ICFP with 0 SPJ accepted papers 
-Ranjit's Lambda Style
-# Asking Annabelle
-# HIcks
-# a climate change talk by Benjamin Pierce
-# Stephanie
-# Adam
-# Phil Wadler
-# Ron + Tander
-
-# Cards taken from
-# https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt
-# Filtered down to remove some sexism / racism / ... and irrelevant cards.
-100% talks, 0% human interaction
-Thinking I'm so clever for using pictures of Alice (Cooper) and Bob (Marley)
-a career-limiting card game
-a hand wavy argument
-a proof that appears in the "full version"
-a violent and bloody PhD defence
-academic integrity
-actually being "sorry for the late reply"
-an "anonymous" reviewer insisting I cite 6 papers by the same author
-an overfull hbox
-arriving 13 minutes late to a 15 minute talk and having the gall to ask a question
-being the only smartly dressed person in the room
-best rejected paper award
-checking my Google Scholar profile daily
-citing personal communication.
-conferences with 5 submissions at 11:59pm
-crippling student debt
-day drinking
-deadline day flatulence
-deliberately hiding inefficiencies inside the big O
-deliberately not referencing a superior paper
-doing Facebook maths puzzles to show I am better than those idiot 97%.
-drinking alone
-explaining what my job is at a family reunion
-falling asleep in a 5-person meeting
-feeling flattered because a conference spam email addressed me as Professor
-fighting over LaTeX syntax
-forgetting my VGA adapter
-frantically taking notes during every talk
-getting a fourth cookie during a coffee break because I have no one to talk to
-getting stuck at the French-speaking banquet table
-getting tenure, then chilling out
-having time to catch up on my reading, then not doing it
-having to write a polite rebuttal to the reviewer who clearly didn't read past page 2
-hiding my conflict of interest
-ignoring reviewer comments and resubmitting immediately
-ignoring the session chair flashing 5 minutes left because I've got 23 slides to go
-including an XKCD comic in my slides because I'm so original
-making claims in the submission that you hope you can achieve before the rebuttal
-my dear friend the Program Chair overruling 3 borderline rejects on my paper
-my successful career at a patent troll company
-my supervisor's morning breath
-not feeling guilty about falling asleep during the keynote
-not having to wear pants
-not needing to pretend to listen to the other speakers in my session
-overselling it hard in the introduction
-politely starting an answer with "That's a good question...", when the question is actually idiotic
-preparing for two weeks to give a 15-minute presentation to a room of 7 people all on their laptops
-pretending to understand
-publishing anyway
-putting an outdoors-y photo on my academic webpage to look well-rounded
-quickly trying to peek at someone's badge as I shake their hand, but it's flipped backwards
-relatives who ask me to help them install their printer on Windows
-remembering when "working from home" meant a day off
-sending an email at 11pm so people think I work hard
-Zoom dropping out every 10 to 15 seconds
-social sciences
-someone less senior than me signing off with "Thanks in advance"
-starting a conversation with "When did you fly in?", because I have nothing interesting to say
-telling anyone who'll listen quite how busy I am
-thanking the anonymous reviewers for their "useful" comments
-the awkward question the chair asks when nobody understood the talk
-the awkward silence of 8 people standing in a circle during the afternoon coffee break
-the great paywall of IEEE
-the intoxicating aroma of 12 PhD students in one office
-the one suit I own for meetings with industry
-the person in the front row taking photos of every slide
-the sound of 50 people on a Zoom call all trying to speak at once
-the student body
-throwing a party for my next citation milestone
-turning up to one meeting and claiming co-authorship
-tweeting about my paper acceptance
-undergrads
-using Beamer because it's social suicide to use PowerPoint
-using "it clearly follows" when the implied following is anything but clear
-using "we should talk about this offline" because the question exposes holes in my paper
-using indecipherable, non-standard notation to hide a dodgy proof
-wearing a T-shirt with a Linux joke
-wearing a conference t-shirt... in public.
-wistfully looking out of the window of my overly-cramped PhD office
-writing a reference for someone I can't remember meeting
-Ctrl+F'ing to see how many times I'm cited and finding "0 results"
-"Working" remotely
-a slide deck entirely in Comic Sans
-A shepherd that won't budge
-Starting a conversation with ``When did you fly in?'', because I have nothing interesting to say