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+icfp2020:
+ black:
+ # ICFP2020 Cards
+ - _ is just _ in the Category of _.
+ - My next paper title? The next 700 _.
+ - Procrastinating on my paper by working on _.
+ - _ and _. A match made in heaven.
+ - Without _ we wouldn't have _.
+ - Reviewer 2 found my paper guilty of _.
+ - _ is just a special case of _.
+ - Listen, if you want to get involved with _, just stay clear of _.
+ - _ would be woefully incomplete without _.
+ - "_: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for _!"
+
+ # Some cards taken from:
+ # https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt
+ # Slightly modified to take out most sexist / racist / ... stuff and comply
+ # with the uplcg format. Added more _s to a few because we can.
+ - A PL conference is never complete without _.
+ - Both Microsoft and Apple have concerns with _.
+ - Did you hear that _ is the new hot topic?
+ - Due to the Covid crisis, I have rekindled my enthusiasm for _.
+ - I always include _ in my reviewer feedback.
+ - I can't believe I got away with _.
+ - I can't believe my grant application for _ was denied!
+ - I can't concentrate without _.
+ - I drink to forget _.
+ - I find that _ relieves pre-submission stress.
+ - I get by with a little help from _.
+ - I got 99 problems but _ ain't one.
+ - I hope no one finds out about _.
+ - I just got out of an incomprehensible talk on _ and _.
+ - I just hope the reviewers don't notice _.
+ - I only got through my PhD because of a long-winded explanation of _.
+ - I think I will skip the session on _ this year.
+ - I was surprised to get no questions about _ the end of my presentation on _.
+ - I woke up drenched in sweat from a nightmare about _.
+ - I woke up filled with shame about _.
+ - I'm hoping to avoid 2/3 of the program committee, because my paper is on _.
+ - I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.
+ - My academic CV says I'm an expert on _.
+ - My career started with _.
+ - My favourite thing about online conferences is _.
+ - One regret I have from my PhD is _.
+ - Putting _ in my application helped me immensely.
+ - Remembering _, then immediately vomiting.
+ - Self-isolation is fantastic for _.
+ - The next big thing will almost certainly be _.
+ - The talk that had the most influence on my personal life was _.
+ - When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _.
+ - Why can't I sleep at night? _
+ - _ kept me up all night.
+ - When all this is over, I'm not looking forward to _.
+ - What's a programmer's best friend? _
+ - What's my secret power? _
+
+ # CaH with minor edits
+ - _ + _ = _
+ - "Step 1: _. Step 2: _. Step 3: Profit."
+ - _ is a slippery slope that leads to _.
+ - "_ & _: The Musical."
+ - I got 99 problems but _ ain’t one.
+
+ white:
+ # ICFP2020 Cards
+ - a Monad
+ - a Monoid
+ - Endofunctors
+ - JavaScript
+ - Haskell
+ - Scheme
+ - Racket
+ - C
+ - C++
+ - abstract nonsense
+ - mutability
+ - type theory
+ - pointers
+ - a proof left as an exercise to the reader
+ - the independence of dependent types
+ - 100 pages of proof appendix
+ - the Vim vs Emacs dilemma
+ - the fear of side effects
+ - error reporting
+ - readable type errors
+ - Haskell wins at ICFP programming contest
+ - C++ wins at ICFP programming contest
+ - a cryptocurrency developed using Coq
+ - monads are like burritos
+ - the egg of Coq
+ - the real origin of the Coq name
+ - HoTT getting cold
+ - the lambdaman
+ - a presentation without a joke
+ - a french paper not formalized in Coq
+ - a non-poultry themed Coq library
+ - ICFP
+ - POPL
+ - PLDI
+ - OOPSLA
+ - cabal hell
+ - Category Theory
+ - executing Agda code
+ - a job talk starting with Heartbleed
+ - a type system that prevents planes from crashing
+ - pLdI iS bEtTeR tHaN iCfP
+ - a time when ML did not mean machine learning
+
+ # SML and formal semantics
+ - that CSmith found 0* bugs in CompCert
+ - well-typed programs don't go wrong
+ - a complete type system
+ - division by zero
+ - a Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages
+ # - no class, no state
+ # - soundy
+ - an abstract domain for neural networks
+ - a PhD office with windows
+ - a profile picture from 20 years ago
+ - an academic website powered by Hakyll
+ - continuations
+ - liberally adding axioms
+ - unironically using Windows
+ - my parents asking when I’ll get a real job
+ - PL memes
+ - not really caring about OOP
+ - endless discussions about syntax
+
+ # paper titles
+ - do be do be do
+ - the marriage of effects and monads
+ - Coq Coq Correct!
+ # - gradual typing is dead
+
+ # Cards including comminity people's names that we should ask for permission
+ - Conor's high tech presentation
+ - an ICFP with 0 SPJ accepted papers
+ - Ranjit's Lambda Style
+ # - Asking Annabelle
+ # - HIcks
+ # - a climate change talk by Benjamin Pierce
+ # - Stephanie
+ # - Adam
+ # - Phil Wadler
+ # - Ron + Tander
+
+ # Cards taken from
+ # https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt
+ # Filtered down to remove some sexism / racism / ... and irrelevant cards.
+ - 100% talks, 0% human interaction
+ - Thinking I'm so clever for using pictures of Alice (Cooper) and Bob (Marley)
+ - a career-limiting card game
+ - a hand wavy argument
+ - a proof that appears in the "full version"
+ - a violent and bloody PhD defence
+ - academic integrity
+ - actually being "sorry for the late reply"
+ - an "anonymous" reviewer insisting I cite 6 papers by the same author
+ - an overfull hbox
+ - arriving 13 minutes late to a 15 minute talk and having the gall to ask a question
+ - being the only smartly dressed person in the room
+ - best rejected paper award
+ - checking my Google Scholar profile daily
+ - citing personal communication.
+ - conferences with 5 submissions at 11:59pm
+ - crippling student debt
+ - day drinking
+ - deadline day flatulence
+ - deliberately hiding inefficiencies inside the big O
+ - deliberately not referencing a superior paper
+ - doing Facebook maths puzzles to show I am better than those idiot 97%.
+ - drinking alone
+ - explaining what my job is at a family reunion
+ - falling asleep in a 5-person meeting
+ - feeling flattered because a conference spam email addressed me as Professor
+ - fighting over LaTeX syntax
+ - forgetting my VGA adapter
+ - frantically taking notes during every talk
+ - getting a fourth cookie during a coffee break because I have no one to talk to
+ - getting stuck at the French-speaking banquet table
+ - getting tenure, then chilling out
+ - having time to catch up on my reading, then not doing it
+ - having to write a polite rebuttal to the reviewer who clearly didn't read past page 2
+ - hiding my conflict of interest
+ - ignoring reviewer comments and resubmitting immediately
+ - ignoring the session chair flashing 5 minutes left because I've got 23 slides to go
+ - including an XKCD comic in my slides because I'm so original
+ - making claims in the submission that you hope you can achieve before the rebuttal
+ - my dear friend the Program Chair overruling 3 borderline rejects on my paper
+ - my successful career at a patent troll company
+ - my supervisor's morning breath
+ - not feeling guilty about falling asleep during the keynote
+ - not having to wear pants
+ - not needing to pretend to listen to the other speakers in my session
+ - overselling it hard in the introduction
+ - politely starting an answer with "That's a good question...", when the question is actually idiotic
+ - preparing for two weeks to give a 15-minute presentation to a room of 7 people all on their laptops
+ - pretending to understand
+ - publishing anyway
+ - putting an outdoors-y photo on my academic webpage to look well-rounded
+ - quickly trying to peek at someone's badge as I shake their hand, but it's flipped backwards
+ - relatives who ask me to help them install their printer on Windows
+ - remembering when "working from home" meant a day off
+ - sending an email at 11pm so people think I work hard
+ - Zoom dropping out every 10 to 15 seconds
+ - social sciences
+ - someone less senior than me signing off with "Thanks in advance"
+ - starting a conversation with "When did you fly in?", because I have nothing interesting to say
+ - telling anyone who'll listen quite how busy I am
+ - thanking the anonymous reviewers for their "useful" comments
+ - the awkward question the chair asks when nobody understood the talk
+ - the awkward silence of 8 people standing in a circle during the afternoon coffee break
+ - the great paywall of IEEE
+ - the intoxicating aroma of 12 PhD students in one office
+ - the one suit I own for meetings with industry
+ - the person in the front row taking photos of every slide
+ - the sound of 50 people on a Zoom call all trying to speak at once
+ - the student body
+ - throwing a party for my next citation milestone
+ - turning up to one meeting and claiming co-authorship
+ - tweeting about my paper acceptance
+ - undergrads
+ - using Beamer because it's social suicide to use PowerPoint
+ - using "it clearly follows" when the implied following is anything but clear
+ - using "we should talk about this offline" because the question exposes holes in my paper
+ - using indecipherable, non-standard notation to hide a dodgy proof
+ - wearing a T-shirt with a Linux joke
+ - wearing a conference t-shirt... in public
+ - wistfully looking out of the window of my overly-cramped PhD office
+ - writing a reference for someone I can't remember meeting
+ - Ctrl+F'ing to see how many times I'm cited and finding "0 results"
+ - '"Working" remotely'
+ - a slide deck entirely in Comic Sans
+ - a shepherd that won't budge