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Diffstat (limited to '')
| -rw-r--r-- | black.txt | 40 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | white.txt | 89 |
2 files changed, 127 insertions, 2 deletions
@@ -1,3 +1,41 @@ # ICFP2020 Cards \BLANK is just \BLANK in the Category of \BLANK. -Really, \BLANK would be better without \BLANK. + +# Some cards taken from: +# https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt +# Slightly modified to take out most sexist / racist / ... stuff and comply +# with the cafp format. Added more \BLANKs to a few because we can. +A PL conference is never complete without \BLANK. +Both Microsoft and Apple have concerns with \BLANK. +Did you hear that \BLANK is the new hot topic? +Due to the Covid crisis, I have rekindled my enthusiasm for \BLANK. +I always include \BLANK in my reviewer feedback. +I can't believe I got away with \BLANK. +I can't believe my grant application for \BLANK was denied! +I can't concentrate without \BLANK. +I drink to forget \BLANK. +I find that \BLANK relieves pre-submission stress. +I get by with a little help from \BLANK. +I got 99 problems but \BLANK ain't one. +I hope no one finds out about \BLANK. +I just got out of an incomprehensible talk on \BLANK and \BLANK. +I just hope the reviewers don't notice \BLANK. +I only got through my PhD because of a long-winded explanation of \BLANK. +I think I will skip the session on \BLANK this year. +I was surprised to get no questions about \BLANK the end of my presentation on \BLANK. +I woke up drenched in sweat from a nightmare about \BLANK. +I woke up filled with shame about \BLANK. +I'm hoping to avoid 2/3 of the program committee, because my paper is on \BLANK. +I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of \BLANK. +My academic CV says I'm an expert on \BLANK. +My career started with \BLANK. +My favourite thing about online conferences is \BLANK. +One regret I have from my PhD is \BLANK. +Putting \BLANK in my application helped me immensely. +Remembering \BLANK, then immediately vomiting. +Self-isolation is fantastic for \BLANK. +The next big thing will almost certainly be \BLANK. +The talk that had the most influence on my personal life was \BLANK. +When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of \BLANK. +Why can't I sleep at night? \BLANK +\BLANK kept me up all night. @@ -2,10 +2,97 @@ a Monad # Inline comment a Monoid Endofunctors -drinking JavaScript Haskell Scheme Racket C C++ + +# Cards taken from +# https://github.com/CardsAgainstCryptography/CAC/blob/master/src/white.txt +# Filtered down to remove some sexism / racism / ... and irrelevant cards. +100% talks, 0\% human interaction +16-bit AES +a career-limiting card game +a hand wavy argument +a proof that appears in the "full version" +a violent and bloody PhD defence +academic integrity +actually being "sorry for the late reply" +an "anonymous" reviewer insisting I cite 6 papers by the same author +an overfull hbox +arriving 13 minutes late to a 15 minute talk and having the gall to ask a question +being the only smartly dressed person in the room +best rejected paper award +checking my Google Scholar profile daily +citing personal communication. +conferences with 5 submissions at 11:59pm +crippling student debt +day drinking +deadline day flatulence +deliberately hiding inefficiencies inside the big O +deliberately not referencing a superior paper +doing Facebook maths puzzles to show I am better than those idiot 97%. +drinking alone +explaining what my job is at a family reunion +falling asleep in a 5-person meeting +feeling flattered because a conference spam email addressed me as Professor +fighting over LaTeX syntax +forgetting my VGA adapter +frantically taking notes during every talk +getting a fourth cookie during a coffee break because I have no one to talk to +getting stuck at the French-speaking banquet table +getting tenure, then chilling out +having time to catch up on my reading, then not doing it +having to write a polite rebuttal to the reviewer who clearly didn't read past page 2 +hiding my conflict of interest +ignoring reviewer comments and resubmitting immediately +ignoring the session chair flashing 5 minutes left because I've got 23 slides to go +including an XKCD comic in my slides because I'm so original +making claims in the submission that you hope you can achieve before the rebuttal +my dear friend the Program Chair overruling 3 borderline rejects on my paper +my successful career at a patent troll company +my supervisor's morning breath +not feeling guilty about falling asleep during the keynote +not having to wear pants +not needing to pretend to listen to the other speakers in my session +overselling it hard in the introduction +politely starting an answer with "That's a good question...", when the question is actually idiotic +preparing for two weeks to give a 15-minute presentation to a room of 7 people all on their laptops +pretending to understand +publishing anyway +putting an outdoors-y photo on my academic webpage to look well-rounded +quickly trying to peek at someone's badge as I shake their hand, but it's flipped backwards +relatives who ask me to help them install their printer on Windows +remembering when "working from home" meant a day off +sending an email at 11pm so people think I work hard +Zoom dropping out every 10 to 15 seconds +social sciences +someone less senior than me signing off with "Thanks in advance" +starting a conversation with "When did you fly in?", because I have nothing interesting to say +telling anyone who'll listen quite how busy I am +thanking the anonymous reviewers for their "useful" comments +the awkward question the chair asks when nobody understood the talk +the awkward silence of 8 people standing in a circle during the afternoon coffee break +the great paywall of IEEE +the intoxicating aroma of 12 PhD students in one office +the one suit I own for meetings with industry +the person in the front row taking photos of every slide +the sound of 50 people on a Zoom call all trying to speak at once +the student body +throwing a party for my next citation milestone +turning up to one meeting and claiming co-authorship +tweeting about my paper acceptance +undergrads +using Beamer because it's social suicide to use PowerPoint +using "it clearly follows" when the implied following is anything but clear +using "we should talk about this offline" because the question exposes holes in my paper +using indecipherable, non-standard notation to hide a dodgy proof +wearing a T-shirt with a Linux joke +wearing a conference t-shirt... in public. +wistfully looking out of the window of my overly-cramped PhD office +writing a reference for someone I can't remember meeting +Ctrl+F'ing to see how many times I'm cited and finding "0 results" +"Working" remotely +a slide deck entirely in Comic Sans |